Feb 4, 2011

To become Mrs. somebody…

… What a girl goes through?

Probably this post has been the one which has taken quite a lot of time for me to compose. Not that I have nothing to write under this title, but it has always been a challenge to pick up the relevant ones out of the limitless thoughts waving high; even tougher job is to arrange them in an order. I hope I’ve been the best choosy of mine in delivering the post.

I don’t know if the long time that I have taken to think and write this post is the culprit, let me tell you, out of all the posts I’ve written in my blog so far, this is the one which is very dear to my heart. All the moments I’ve pondered through various thoughts for this post will always remain as some of the best of their kind, as far as I’m concerned.

Read on…

Childhood days are the best ones in terms of making a girl believe harmony of love of her well-wishers who surround her. They make her believe in the affection and caring of her people as if it continues forever and ever. Never realizing mindset of the fact that she has to be someone else’s someday, keeps her nerves off the pinching pain and fills her heart with joy and only joy.

As the days pass by and the years say goodbye one after the other, she realizes the fact that she has to step in to a different world all together at a certain age of her life. Realizing this fact is just the starting point of the journey which she has yet to go a long way. As soon as she starts imagining her future with somebody, she starts searching for the quality first of all, which she would like to have in the person she would have to live with.

Certain mentality of her keeps on developing within herself, which almost becomes her attitude towards her marriage or towards the whole extravaganza itself. The way the people are getting married, the way they are leading their married lives interest her as the days pass by.

Days can never be stopped so as the years and age as well. As she is still in understanding the whole concept and preparing herself towards the requirements of social life, she comes to know that her parents want her to get married, and that they would like to start the match-fixing process.

** Nerves start feeling the heat. All of a sudden, she has to wind up her observations, thinking and learning process, and she has to identify her own ideas of the right person for her.

** Of course, some support is provided by the family and friends, but she feels that she is all alone in deciding the choice for herself. More than the good thoughts about choosing the right person, the fear of losing the right person starts dominating.

** In some cases even the time is not provided by her parents; some parents go a step ahead and even do not provide her the option to choose. She has to blindly follow the so called perfect choice of her parents which makes her choice-less from a side and fearful from all routines.

** Based on the girl’s own ideas and the experiences of others, sometimes she stays very positive towards the marriage. At the same time, the fear of playing with the luck factor keeps on pinching from the back.

** Especially in the cases of working woman, the difficult task of choosing between the person and the working location or organization becomes the hectic job apart from the regular job which fills her bank account every month. In case, if she is in a responsible position and liking the work she is doing or if she has already planned her career in the years to come, it becomes even tougher, not only for her personal life but also for her professional life.

** Parents stay somewhere, she stays somewhere else, all have to have a single opinion about the right choice, and why does not it makes her life challenging to attend the phone calls of asking her to come home frequently?

** If the girl is still young or in her very early twenties or last stages of her teenage, the whole music she has to face is very different. Decision making skills at this age of a particular girl is not competent enough in any way to match with the basic needs of a mind that can choose confidently.

** Otherwise, if the girl or if I should call lady, is well settled and is in her late thirties or so, it is even bigger task for her to prepare herself to undergo the proceedings. Recently I read a survey result, in which it is very clearly mentioned that the women who are well settled and are in their late thirties or above, would have a clear opinion about their life partners and also understanding and satisfying such ladies would be a difficult task for their better halves.

** Emotional but it is the fact that ay girl who is going to get married definitely thinks about the responsibility that she has for her parents, how he will take care of her parents, how well will her relation with her parents stay fresh always etc. It is almost impossible to estimate the other person especially in such issues. This scenario not only makes the girl worried, at the same time it makes her parents face nightmares.

** Marriage is not just about two people, it is about two families. Each other’s support is very important; it is even important for the girl speaking realistically. Whopping thoughts about the life after marriage in this regard keeps her transfixed.

** Innumerable and unanswerable questions pop up. At the same time, they are unexplainable or at least inexpressible here for me here in this blog.

This attempt of mine is just to make you people think and understand the situations. Being a girl, I’ve observed almost all of the above situations in the lives of my friends or my relatives. These may have been thought from a skeptical point of view as we all being humans, each one of us can think about a particular issue from a particular direction or with some ideas. There would be many other situations and attitudes. I’ll go ahead and try to understand as many as possible, so that I can help such girls by doing as much as I can.

All in all, to become Mrs. Somebody a girl undergoes certain practical difficulties, but at the same time this stage shall be taken positively. Hopefulness makes the girl take good and bold decisions at the same time carefulness is very much important in every aspect. Good learnings can be obtained when the difficulties are faced!

PS: No special cases or love marriages are considered while writing the above lines. Hope you understand.

16 comments:

Leo said...

Well Prams, yes.. the girl does have a lot of difficulty to choose the groom or her better half when it comes to an arranged marriage with the supposed "man of her dreams" :) its all there in ur post.. in maroon and gray.. Love marriages of course, are a special exception like u say!

Creativity!! said...

Very Well Said Prams. Matched Few of My Thoughts Which You Have Mentioned Here.

deeps said...

even if we minus the marriage part, the life of a girl doesnt become less brittle...

that being said, lemme ask u if u watched dhobi ghat? i just did... i m really taken up by the role/character played by the lead female actor...

A New Beginning said...

Thanks for such a deep post, it was a pleasure reading it :)

Suree said...

u really are a great writer... try writing some book.. i am serious

Sabi Sunshine said...

OMG wonderful dear.. i have a very excited news to share with you and when i looked at the post i almost had a happy tears in my eyes... I can probably use your advise.. My happiness will be empty without your blessings.

Love
Sabi Sunshine

Jack said...

Pramoda,

Finally I could start catching up with my visits. Read current posts. A Mother's Last Wish touched the heart. How I wish that our respected leaders have same thoughts like President of USA! Your are absolutely right in Corporate Feeling and Work in Heaven. This post is true reflection of a girls mind, specially one who is dedicated to her profession.

Take care

lakshman said...

Pramoda,

Unconditional love...key for success in any marriage. Interesting and well thought posting. Keep up good work.

LM

Being Pramoda... said...

Hi Vinay,

Thanks so much fr bring here on a spl post for me..

and thank you very much..:)

Being Pramoda... said...

Hi Sahana, thats too cool..:)

Being Pramoda... said...

Hi Deeps,

yeah i wtched it.. her characterization is too good and thoughtful as well..

Thanks yaa..

Being Pramoda... said...

New begining..

hey.. thanks so much yaa

Being Pramoda... said...

Hi Suree, thanks for gthe encouragement yaa.. will keep my spirits up..:)

Being Pramoda... said...

Hi Sabi.. nice to know that... wish u all the success..;)

thanks gal

Being Pramoda... said...

Hello Jack uncle, thanks so much for being here.. am so missing this space..

hope every thing is fine with you..;)

Being Pramoda... said...

Hi Babai.. thats well said and thanks so much ..;(