It's been long time since I started thinking about writing this post. I skipped it every time, not sure of the reason. Today I've decided to do it, again not sure of the reason. This kind of post make me happy as I open up from within and flush out the worries or one may call them as thoughts.
In all these twenty eight years of my life, there have been many moments when I cried in bathroom to my last tear of the moment . Not that I could not do it in public. I've been so self-centric or rather self-dependent in this matter that I want only me consoling myself. I just do not want to go out of the belief that I can come back strong myself. Also, I did not want to end up in silence when friends ask me the reason for my tears. Although I had my own reasons, I was not pretty sure if they were enough reasons to breakdown first of all, and again, I never wanted to look for consolation from outside. With that I'm not saying that I never cried in the crowd. I did it many a times. Every time I did that, I found myself sufficient to be around. Eventually, bathroom turned out to be the place for me.
Bathroom does not speak back to you. It allows you to be miserable as much as you want. It stands in silence to give you large enough space to formulate your own thoughts. It stays as a silent spectator while you console yourself, sufficient enough to do a positive come back. It looks at you the same way every time you visit it showing no difference in treating you. Although, all this can logically be done by people who are close to you, I prefer to be one of such rather than asking for such people to be around. I basically do not want to be dependent on the uncertainty. I am always there certainly for myself and that must be fine as long as I'm going to be sufficient.
I do not know what this kind of a human thought-process is named in the discipline of Psychology. Does not matter. This is what I'm and it has been productive being so, why not I continue unless I find the other reason!